Think Good Thoughts

     In past posts I've written a lot about the trials of this year and also about all the good and beautiful things God has been showing me this year. Honestly I am so very grateful for the life that I have been given, the good things that have kept me going, and just the silly optimism that overtakes me even in my saddest moments. God has been so faithful. This weekend has been a tremendous blessing.

     This is my cousin and very first best friend Lauren. We grew up together and have a long standing joke of how our grandmother dressed us like twins for most of our growing up years. The funniest part is now we always realize that we dress very similarly without even trying. (Observe the photo!)  She recently has gotten married and now has a little boy, who is so darling :) She has left me to fend for myself alone on the battlefield of love but I guess I'm pretty happy for her anyway. Anyway her husband recently joined the Air force. We had both moved to SA at around the same time and are actually neighbors. However we knew that Lauren would probably be moving in the next couple of months with her husband to wherever he would be stationed... But luck would have it that Phillip has been stationed in San Antonio for the next couple of years! So our little family club continues and I won't have to give up my twin.

     That is just one of the blessings of my weekend. Yesterday I got to celebrate with a great group of girls for my friend Jess' upcoming marriage! I'm definitely at the age where most of my Gal Pals are becoming MRS.' or MOMS! But celebrating with Jess has made me so happy. She is such a blessing in my life and a true example of a Godly lady... and her fiance isn't that shabby of a Godly example either. She is like my example of hope in a lot of ways. Her patience and faith have really paid off. Yesterday was just a grand day of enjoying friendships and investing in one another.

   
     And to cap off a great weekend my dear friend Lizzy came to stay with me! We had great plans of going out on the town and being young and free but we ended up staying in and just enjoying good food and each others company. She set me straight on a lot and we just were able to talk about so much. She helps me find my footing. 






 I have just had so many blessings. I have wonderful friends. Some that I don't get to see as much as others. But one thing I have realized about myself is that I prefer deep one on one relationships to a plethora of acquaintances.  

 

     And these are just a few of the ladies that have blessed my life beyond compare. I love what they teach me. Sometimes I hate what they teach me but just the fact that we make a difference in each others life is a big deal.

So really I've had so many good things in life. Hard stuff too for sure. This year (as I've said many times before) has been extremely tough. The big thing is that it seems that every time I see the joy in a situation or have just a boost of hope, that seems to be the time that I get hit by hard things. Things that make me sad, discouraged, hurt. (Finances, waiting, decisions, guy disappointments, hurt friends, misunderstandings, family, loss)  These things all steal my happy heart. Happy hearts are hard to come by I've realized and I like to try and supply them when I can. So really I guess this post is a thank you to all of you who remind me of my happy heart. Just thinking of the good things in life helps the face extensively :) And then in the bad times you are just that much more grateful for the things that helped instead of hurt.

    

Pro-Life

   I'm not going to continue with what I was talking about in my last blog. It was pretty much a ramble about my life anyway :) I've been reading this book that a friend of mine has been telling me to read for years. It's called "The Ragamuffin Gospel" By Brennan Manning and it is phenomenal! It has made me think so much.

     The premise to it is basically about how we are prone to not truly accept God's love and forgiveness. That's something I have struggled with for years. I tend to think that yes God is faithful and loving... But I don't deserve it. How incredibly silly of me to think that an all powerful God could be limited by something as trivial as my worthiness. God loves and forgives me because that is His very nature and He cannot be untrue to who He is. It is not because I deserve it. It won't change because I don't deserve it. It is how it is because of who He is.

     That isn't even the point of this blog. I've talked so much in these blogs about my relationships and how I view relationships in general and this book has made me think. It has even convicted me of so much where relationships are concerned. One thing that really got me was this quote...

      "We are not pro-life simply because we are warding off death. We are pro-life to the extent that we are men and women for others, all others; to the extent that no human flesh is a stranger to us; to the extent that we can touch the hand of another in love; to the extent that to us there are no others." 

     I am most definitely pro-life. I know and love children who could have been disposed of because they were unplanned. I cherish these children and can't imagine a life without them. The way I believe in this aspect affects a lot of my political choices and day to day choices. A big part of what I want to do is give children like this a chance at life. But something I haven't really thought a lot about is how "Pro-life" I am with all people in general. Do I love people truly? Do I weep when anyone is lost? Do I feel anything at all for human kind? Yes I desire to help those I know. I desire to help people that can't help themselves…but what about the people who can help themselves? What about the people who I don't understand as well. Do I even pursue a relationship with them? 

     Awhile back when Osama Bin Laden was killed and the nation was rejoicing I found myself torn. Yes I was happy that the world was rid of this terrible man's deeds. But a part of me hurt that we rejoiced... This man's soul was lost forever. My Jesus loved Him just as much as He loves me and had offered to give Him abundant life just as I have been offered. How could I rejoice when my Jesus was weeping over a lost soul? His desire was that NO ONE should perish but have everlasting life in Him.

        And not even that extreme... I tend to make snap judgments of people. I decide if people are innately good or evil just in how they look at me once. I choose whether to love someone just by how they make me feel at the time. My love is so impure and conditional and no way close to how Jesus loves.

      "Authentic faith leads us to treat others with unconditional seriousness and to a loving reverence for the mystery of the human personality."

     We are all the same but at the same time all different. We all are at the same level. We are sinners who have been offered the same pardon. But we all deal with things differently. We react differently. No one is better or worse because of their personality or their way of dealing… so maybe if we spent a little more time really listening and understanding we would be able to have meaningful relationships with people that are different than us.

     That’s another thing I’ve realized… I’m pretty bad at relationships in general. I’m becoming a bad listener these days because my own mind is too busy. I don’t listen well even to the people that I care about the most. I talk a lot I just don’t listen. Listening is probably a key part about caring about people, just a guess.

     The point of this blog has been and continues to be a way for me to process. I think so very much and this has proved to be an excellent way for me to organize my thoughts. I have shared a lot about me and just the way I am viewing life these days. I am so confused on so many points yet so enlightened on others. I’m learning how to treat people and learning better ways to react to how I am treated. I guess I am just seeking better understanding and patience. I am seeking to be a better listener. I am not seeking to be perfect… I know that Christ is the only one who can accomplish that and in Him I am already seen that way. Not that I just go out and do what I want but, out of my love for Him, I seek His will. I hope these posts are somehow beneficial to you as well J Until next time.

                     All Quotes use in this Blog are from The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.