This adorable child to the right of the screen just so happens to be one of my hero's. This is my five year old nephew Trystan in a photo that I took around Easter (I'm thinking that I really like photography now... but that's besides the point.) He is one of my hero's because
1. I've never seen a little boy who adores his mamma and sissy more.
2. He has gone through a lot in his short little life and he has a strength that is indescribable.
3. He always knows what to say to make a lady feel better.
4. I just love him.
When my Dad passed away a few months ago this little boy came into the room where my mom, sister (his mom) and I sat by my Dad's bedside. His mom explained to him that Gramps had gone to heaven and he wouldn't be with us all the time anymore. Trystan took this in quietly and then did one of the most caring things I've ever seen. He crawled into his grandma's lap and gave a very sincere speech. He said "I'm going to take care of you now Grandma." Which made us all cry and that made him go to me and then his mom and assure us that he would take care of us too.
I shared all of this because I was thinking about it tonight and realized that my five year old nephew took a responsibility that most girls (Let's be honest, AND woman) believe only exists in fairy tales. It's true that he really doesn't know what the full weight of his words could mean had he really been capable of "taking care of us". However, thinking about this made me realize that this is exactly what most ladies are missing out on....
This is NOT a bash on men by any means. I feel that we ladies do need to take responsibility for some of the "decline" of chivalry. (Which "the decline" is not ENTIRELY true. I know there are some very nice fellows out there.) But after losing my dad I realized something... I had just lost a huge piece of my security. Now I have always been a farely independent person. But even though I didn't actually depend on my dad for my financial or even my emotional needs, when he was gone I no longer had that security that had always been. I didn't know I depended on him but I did. Just knowing he would be there made me secure.
During my walk I also started thinking of my four year old niece Abby. She and I spent some time together earlier in the afternoon and she talked the whole time. She asked me so many questions about my "interesting" life and my friends. But I noticed that she talked very often about her daddy (my brother). Now my brother and his wife are great parents. Their children are very well behaved and respectful. However, when it comes to his little girl my brother can be a bit... lax. He lets her get away with a bit more then their oldest boy ever did because he adores her and she can do no wrong. Which anyone can see the feeling is mutual. I listened to my niece casually talk about how her daddy would know that. Or her daddy did this or that. There was such an obvious and untainted love for her daddy just in the way she spoke and the expression on her beautiful little face.
So I'll admit I've been a bit lost without my Dad. And I've craved a relationship to replace what I had lost. Now I know how that sounds... but not necessarily a romantic relationship (though honestly I think that would be nice!), but just a relationship that made me feel secure. Maybe another father figure. I don't really know. I'm just now figuring these things out.
I suppose that's one reason I'm writing this is to give a standing ovation to all the ladies I know that are "on their own". We definitely can't help that we crave to be taken care of. But so many lovely woman I know have had to make it on their own. They haven't been able to count on the men in their live or they have just lost them. I admire all of you ladies that have handled all of these things with such grace and poise.... I'm having a major Pat Banater moment and I want to burst into song! ("We are young. heartache to heartache we stand.") Laughter :)
Also, I hope if any gents read this... It might encourage you to see the woman in your life a bit differently. See them as the gift God intended them to be to you and know that she probably depends on you. I know we are not always great examples of the gift that God intended us to be but be patient with us and hopefully we ladies will be patient too. And also thank you to all of you great fathers, brothers, husbands and sons! You shape our lives.
In saying all of these things (and gosh I hope some of this made sense!) I have processed for myself and realized... We were made this way for a purpose. And yes once again it is to draw us to Christ and not to any man. God gives us these men in our lives, fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, to give us just a tiny taste of how he will care for us like a father, be there for us like a brother, share life with us like a husband and adore us like a son. No we don't always get to have all of these examples of God's love but we do get to have God! And that, my friends, makes me feel secure.
I will continue to miss my dad. That is inevitable. I will probably continue to crave relationships too. But as long as I know I am secure in Christ all else will fall into place. This is a promise I will hold on to.
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